Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Reflecting, before the crazy begins

It’s pretty close to the holidays and I’ve been so busy getting ready for Christmas, I haven’t spent much thought on the wedding. I know that once Christmas is over – I will have about 10 months before the wedding – and a lot of DIY’s to do.

So I wanted to reflect a little before the madness begins.

Why am I marrying LN?
- Well I love him (duh!) but it’s more than that. I’m happy with him – it’s not that he makes me happy – it’s that when I am with him I am able to be myself and know that he loves me just as I am (to steal from Bridget Jones’ Diary). And I am happy.

- He’s interesting. I enjoy talking to him and spending time with him. We have fun together, and I look forward to seeing him and hearing what he has to say (most of the time).

- He’s funny – seriously, he’s probably the funniest person I have ever met (sorry Dad). And the fact that we make each other laugh, all of the time, is so important to me.

- We have the same values. After my last failed long term relationship, I sat down and wrote a list of what’s important to me as a “must have” in a man for the relationship to work – and what are deal breakers. And I decided that if the man doesn’t have these, then I’m not going to waste my and his time. So when I got to know LN, I realized that he has most (if not all) of these values. While we may not have all of the same interests – that’s ok, because what’s at the core of who we are, is similar and compatible.

- We trust each other. I know that he will be honest with me (without hurting my feelings) and I know that I can be honest with him (without hurting his feelings). And we talk about stuff – not just what’s happening in the news or how our day went, but about our feelings, our past, our future, and what makes us tick. In fact we probably talk about that too much and forget to talk about the mundane things – like who’s taking the car today! Lol!

There’s so much more – too much to list, but these are the core reasons why I want to marry this man. I’m sure that his reasons for wanting to marry me are similar.

What do I want this wedding to be?
There’s always the chance that this wedding will get out of hand; that the budget will skyrocket; that there will be too many people and I’ll feel overwhelmed; that we’ll lose ourselves in the commotion; etc; etc…

This is obviously not what I want, but I know these things happen.

I want this wedding to be a party. I want it to be a celebration of our love and commitment to each other. I don’t want it to be “the happiest day of my life” I want it to be a marker of our happiness, which started long before the wedding plans and will continue long afterward. It’s not the beginning of our happiness – it’s like an intermission – a “let’s all go the lobby and have ourselves a snack” moment in our happiness movie.

I want it to be deeply personal. I want it to show who we are, what we like, and things that are important to us. I think that most weddings are this way, they just vary on degree. Ours is probably at about 102 degree angle.

But my main want for this wedding is to be surrounded by people who love me, as I marry the man I love. And while I know it’s our day (as in not just my day), LN would be just as happy eloping (which is not happening), I want him to feel the same way.

So when I’m frantically trying to get the handmade bouquets done, or trying to figure out what we’re going to do for a guest book. I need to take a step back and remember – as long as he is there, then the day is perfect.

(Oh and I want to dance, dance, dance!)

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